Joy in July!

Need a pick me up? Looking to enhance your already great summertime routine? Join us for 30 days of Joy in July Challenge. Every week we have a weekly challenge but this month we are having a challenge for the entire month of July!!! Yes, I know there are thirty-one days in July, but I prefer even numbers haha! And plus you can just use the last day as a makeup day if you missed any of the days throughout the month. Follow us on Instagram @JLCounselingLLC, mention us, and use the hashtag #TCCJulyChallenge as you complete each day. Don’t forget to listen to the this week’s podcast episode about comparing yourself to others. Comment below and tell us what you think about the challenge!

Wishing you much peace, love, and JOY this month and beyond.

3 Rules for Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships

We have all encountered toxic people who suck the life out of us. Some of you may be going through this as you read this blog. If you are struggling with setting boundaries with others then here are three rules to follow help you lift that deadweight and start to feel lighter emotionally and physically.

Rule #1: Set boundaries with yourself. Refuse to talk about yourself negatively. Practice self-care. Choose to spend your time wisely. Don’t answer phone calls or respond to emails after work hours. There are soooo many more ways you can set boundaries with yourself so make a list to identify and what ways do you need to treat yourself better. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to respect you?

Rule #2: Put your foot down. Don’t allow others to lie to you, cheat on you, shame you, blame you, and yell and speak to you disrespectfully. Don’t even let people gossip about others to you. Setting boundaries means letting people know what you are and are not comfortable with in your friendship or relationship. If you don’t speak up for yourself you will feel depressed, anxious, angry, resentful and will continue to be mistreated and abused by others.

Rule #3: Be consistent and follow through. Too often we talk about what we want to do but we don’t really follow through and then others may not feel that you are serious. For example, if you tell your significant other that you are not going to argue with them if they try to pick a fight with you but you still engage in an argument, then you are letting them think that their argumentative behavior is acceptable and engaging gives them the satisfaction that they want.

Setting boundaries takes time and may cause strain in your relationships. Relationships may even end if those whom you are setting boundaries with do not choose to respect your boundaries. I too have had to set boundaries with even family to ensure peace of mind. It is disappointing and hurtful but hanging on to those relationships with no boundaries were not worth sacrificing my mental and physical well-being.

Comment below what you think about setting boundaries. Is it hard? Do you make exceptions for certain people? Don’t forget to listen to the podcast to hear more about setting boundaries and to participate in this week’s TCC Weekly Challenge.

The Battle is in the Mind: 3 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears and Achieving Your Goals

At some point in life or maybe several times in life we are faced with challenges that incite fear in our minds. I go through it myself at times. If you struggle with depression or anxiety it may be even harder for you to shake that fear when it arises.

When I was child, my dad used to always say “The battle is in the mind, Jessie.” I didnt know what the heck he was talking about and really didn’t care at that age. Now that I am older, practicing in this profession, and through experiencing challenges and facing my own fears, I can testify to this daily battle in all of our minds.The battle between fear and courage, self doubt and confidence can take a mental and physical toll on you if you let it.

So how do you overcome the battle?

Step one, challenge yourself. Think of yourself as a lawyer and argue back to those negative and distorted thoughts with evidence and counteracting positive statements.

Step two, find your motivation or reward. Yea you might be afraid to put yourself out there but what is the end result? Where do you want to be down the line that requires you to push through this fear? There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Lastly, step number three, JUST DO IT! If you don’t jump out there and start that business that you have been wanting to start or talk to that crush you have been having your eyes on for the last few months or delay submitting that application to graduate school that would help you get a pay increase later, then you can only be mad at who at the end of the day? That’s right. YOU. Don’t regret five, ten, twenty years down the road that you didn’t act and allowed your fear take control of your life. Grab fear by the reigns and let it know who’s boss. I had so many doubts in my mind throughout my counseling career and especially with starting my private practice but I did it anyway because I decided a long time ago that I was never going to let fear keep me from achieving my goals. And you don’t need to allow it to either.

Listen to the podcast to find out how you can participate in this week’s TCC Weekly Challenge on overcoming your fears. Comment below which fear you plan on facing this week.