We have all encountered toxic people who suck the life out of us. Some of you may be going through this as you read this blog. If you are struggling with setting boundaries with others then here are three rules to follow help you lift that deadweight and start to feel lighter emotionally and physically.
Rule #1: Set boundaries with yourself. Refuse to talk about yourself negatively. Practice self-care. Choose to spend your time wisely. Don’t answer phone calls or respond to emails after work hours. There are soooo many more ways you can set boundaries with yourself so make a list to identify and what ways do you need to treat yourself better. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to respect you?
Rule #2: Put your foot down. Don’t allow others to lie to you, cheat on you, shame you, blame you, and yell and speak to you disrespectfully. Don’t even let people gossip about others to you. Setting boundaries means letting people know what you are and are not comfortable with in your friendship or relationship. If you don’t speak up for yourself you will feel depressed, anxious, angry, resentful and will continue to be mistreated and abused by others.
Rule #3: Be consistent and follow through. Too often we talk about what we want to do but we don’t really follow through and then others may not feel that you are serious. For example, if you tell your significant other that you are not going to argue with them if they try to pick a fight with you but you still engage in an argument, then you are letting them think that their argumentative behavior is acceptable and engaging gives them the satisfaction that they want.
Setting boundaries takes time and may cause strain in your relationships. Relationships may even end if those whom you are setting boundaries with do not choose to respect your boundaries. I too have had to set boundaries with even family to ensure peace of mind. It is disappointing and hurtful but hanging on to those relationships with no boundaries were not worth sacrificing my mental and physical well-being.
Comment below what you think about setting boundaries. Is it hard? Do you make exceptions for certain people? Don’t forget to listen to the podcast to hear more about setting boundaries and to participate in this week’s TCC Weekly Challenge.