5 Ways to Deal with Mom Guilt

Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and unforgettable moments. However, it can also bring along a not-so-welcome companion: mom guilt. Mom guilt is that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough or making the right decisions for your children. It's a common struggle that many moms face, but the good news is that there are ways to cope with it. In this blog post, we'll explore five strategies to help you deal with mom guilt and find more peace and confidence in your parenting journey.

1. Practice Self-Compassion:

One of the most effective ways to combat mom guilt is to practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and remember that it's okay to make mistakes. Instead of dwelling on what you did wrong, focus on what you did right. Understand that you're human, and it's natural to have imperfections. Just as you would offer love and understanding to your children, do the same for yourself.

2. Set Realistic Expectations:

Mom guilt often arises from unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. Recognize that you can't be a perfect mom, and that's perfectly fine. Take a step back and reevaluate your expectations. Understand that it's okay to ask for help and take time for self-care. Prioritize your well-being because a happy and balanced mom is better equipped to care for her family.

3. Communicate with Your Partner:

If you have a partner, communication is key. Share your feelings and concerns with them. Discuss how you can support each other in your parenting roles. Collaborating as a team can help alleviate the burden of mom guilt and strengthen your partnership. Remember that you're in this together, and it's essential to have each other's backs.

4. Connect with Other Moms:

Talking to other moms who are experiencing similar challenges can be incredibly reassuring. Join parenting groups, both online and in person, to share your experiences and learn from others. Realizing that you're not alone in your struggles can be empowering and comforting. It's a reminder that every mom faces her own unique set of challenges.

5. Prioritize Quality Time:

Instead of dwelling on the quantity of time you spend with your children, focus on the quality of the time you have together. Put away distractions, be present in the moment, and engage with your kids. These meaningful interactions can make a significant difference in your child's life and help you feel more connected and satisfied as a mom.

Mom guilt is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to control your parenting journey. By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, communicating with your partner, connecting with other moms, and prioritizing quality time, you can effectively manage mom guilt. Remember, being a mom is an ongoing learning process, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way. Embrace the imperfections, cherish the moments, and know that you're doing the best you can for your children.

Have you or do you currently experience mom guilt?

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Transitioning Back to Work…Postpartum Edition

Being unprepared and overwhelmed with returning to work after maternity leave can increase your risk of having a postpartum mood and anxiety disorder or can exacerbate the symptoms you may already be experiencing. Here are 5 tips for having a smooth transition back to work for you or your postpartum employees.

1. Begin the transition to alternative childcare options at least a couple weeks prior to going to work. Putting your new baby in daycare can bring up a lot of emotions including anxiety, sadness, and the dreaded “mom guilt”. Taking your baby to daycare for at least a few hours a day while you are still on maternity leave is a good idea to help you and your baby learn to adjust to their new environment and schedule before being thrust back into the swing of work duties.

2. Minimize schedule/workload. Be sure to have a discussion with your boss about having a light schedule or even having remote working options if possible to help you ease back into working. It’s pretty drastic to go from not working at all to working a full 8 hour shift with just a few short breaks. I was grateful for my supervisor when I worked at a mental health clinic who only put 3-4 clients on my schedule per day for my first two weeks back to not overwhelm me with back to back appointments.

3. Increase self-care activities. Now more than ever you must prioritize self-care. Be sure to meet your basic needs daily: eating healthy meals regularly, staying hydrated, personal hygiene, good sleep quality and exercise. From there be sure to add on a few hours a week for personal “me time” to do things that bring you comfort, joy, and peace.

4. Ask for help from support system. You can’t do it all by yourself and do not make your self believe the false idea that you are supposed to be SUPERMOM/WIFE. Ask for what you need from your partner, doula, family, friends, neighbor, coworkers, supervisor, etc. A lifesaver for me was hiring a housekeeper. If it’s in your budget, it is highly recommended. Remember it takes a village!

5. Plan to succeed. Plan ahead your outfits, meals, deadlines, travel time to and from daycare and work and everything else by using a good time management tool in your phone or planner. I guarantee taking the time to get organized will help save you time and stress and will lessen the emotional load that you already carry being a new working mom.

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If you need more assistance with adjusting to becoming a working mom postpartum or if your company would like consulting services to help implement some strategies to make your work environment more conducive to working moms feel free to contact wellness@jlcounselingllc.com or call 318-759-7865.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a postpartum mood and anxiety disorder, CALL or TEXT the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 1-833-9-HELP4MOMS (1-833-943-5746). TTY users can use a preferred relay service or dial 711 and then 1-833-943-5746 to find support resources in your area.

If you are in suicidal crisis, please call or text The National Suicide Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Tired of Politics???

This past week, and year, has been a whirlwind of political debates in the midst of a pandemic. All of this on top of regular daily stressors can contribute to the heavy emotions and stress you may have been feeling for the last several months, and especially in the days leading up to the United States Presidential Election, as well as, the days following in anticipation of who our next president would be. Regardless of your presidential pick, one thing many of us had in common was something called political fatigue. Political fatigue is the mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion associated with direct or indirect political involvement. Here are some tips for combatting this problem:

1. Unplug - It's important to remember that you do not have to watch and listen to media outlets. You can CHOOSE to unfollow, turn off, unplug, and unfriend any platform that may be too negative or overwhelming for you at this time. You aren't a bad person, mean, or childish for choosing to protect your peace during this time. Set a time limit for how long you watch tv or scroll social media.

2. Set boundaries - Don't engage in political debates or discussions with family, friends, or coworkers if you aren't feeling up to it. Even with those close to us, these conversations can be very draining and can stir you up unnecessarily. Don't know how to say no? Simply say, "I don't really have the energy to discuss this right now." If they continue to press the issue, you can disengage by physically leaving the situation or not responding.

3. Back to Basics - Make sure you are eating, staying hydrated, and getting at least 8 hours of sleep. If you were anything like me, you probably didn't sleep very well last week waking up every few hours checking your phone to see if anything changed in the presidential projection. Use this week to ensure that you are practicing good sleep hygiene and overall good self-care.

4. Distract yourself - Use positive ways to distract yourself if you are feeling too many unpleasant or overwhelming emotions. Engage in your favorite activity, listen to music, cook a new recipe, exercise, read a book, or watch a funny, lighthearted tv show. My husband and I love binge watching our favorite sitcoms on Netflix to distract ourselves and help time move quicker.

Lastly, remember to talk to your counselor if you feel like things are worsening. If you don't have a counselor I suggest you reach out to one TODAY to help process your feelings surrounding the election and more! If you are in Louisiana or Georgia, I would be a great counselor for you lol.